Another Auld Lang Syne, but not the "Same Auld Lang Syne,,,"

Happy New Year/New Decade!!

I hope that this latest rumination finds everyone enjoying the start to this new decade as we say good riddance to 2009 and hello to 2010. It was definitely a far cry from ten years ago when we all swept up in the fear and uncertainty of the year 2000, whether the world was going to come to an end, whether the computer systems would still operate, whether the power would still be on or not, etc.. There was a degree of excitement and fear as we heralded in a new decade and a new century. But, nonetheless, things went on as usual, the power turned on, the computer worked, and life went on as usual (well, until that fateful September morning in 2001, where the world and the USA was changed forever). While 2009 has not been the best year, the decade has been another story. It certainly has been an interesting decade and went by faster than I imagined that it ever would. There is so much to reflect on these past ten years, that I figure I may as well start with the end of 1999, as 1999 was quite the turning point in my life.

As I list on my Facebook page and soon to be defunct MySpace page, I graduated high school in June 1999, which was the beginning of a new journey and in a way, a new life. To be quite honest, I was ready to get out of high school, get away from the people who made my life hell, get away from all the bullshit and drama that high school brought, and begin the journey of becoming a teacher, something I always aspired to do since I was way young. After an uneventful summer, I began taking classes at American River College, which was successful despite the fact that I didn't do as well in a couple of the classes I could have. It wasn't really until Fall of 2001 that I got my act together and actually finished without a C in any class. I also got my first job in 2000, as I worked at Raley Field, home of the AAA Baseball team, Sacramento Rivercats, who moved from Vancouver, BC earlier that year. While I liked the people I worked with, the work was hell, but a learning experience that life isn't easy at all. You have to give up a lot of things, especially many different interests and activities. I only lasted one season there, as I initially quit, then was formally terminated when I received a letter telling me my performance did not meet their standards. I had also gone for my driver's test earlier that year, and failed that before my permit expired a few days later, so that was also a failure. Seems that as I look back, 2000 was a year of setbacks, failures and losses. I did not perform well in anything I did, had a lot of health setbacks (where I actually started the year with a nasty virus), gained a significant amount of weight that my mom pointed out on the way to the doctor's office when I had to have an infection lanced, hurt my back, became highly irritable and moody, oftentimes lashing out at people for no apparent reason, then ended the year suffering from chronic indigestion (I think it was more nerves than anything) and oftentimes feuded with my family or a few people at church. However, one thing that really kept me going was music, which as pointed out by one of my friends, I am obsessed with "and rightfully so." Especially as I became the interim music director at church before assuming the role permanently in 2001 much to the dismay of several people because I was deemed too young. I also didn't realize it at the time, but we also lost our family's patriarchal figure, Uncle Johnny in November of 2000 and now realize what a role model he was in my life and my music (fitting since I'm finally working on a degree in music and have begun composing some of my own music). While 2000 was not the greatest year, 2001 and every subsequent year (with the exception of 2003 and 2009) came in with a new ray of hope.

I have to be honest that as I look back at this decade, there are many great moments and not-so-great moments in my own life and in the world around us with some years being more memorable and others not. Out of the years of this decade, I would say 2002, 2004, 2005, and 2008 were probably the best years for me in this decade. The beginning of 2002 was particularly memorable, as I actually celebrated New Year's Day out of state, as I ventured to Nashville, TN to stay with my Aunt Kelly. I used to hang out here and there with my Aunt Kelly (my mom's little sister), although we would also drive each other crazy as well. However, she was always so youthful (still is) and knew how to have fun, but also brutally honest and told things the way they are. I was nervous, because I never really spent that much time with her, although she also had her roommates Nate and Maggie. It ended up being a great week and she showed me many different sides of Nashville and the slower life that CA doesn't have in its major cities (amidst the fact that we both thought that a majority of the people there are still narrow-minded bigots). It was an eye opening experience, as I had only gotten a small glimpse of Seattle, WA and Washington, DC when I got to go to both cities (get to see Seattle again this summer, as well as Portland, OR). I also got to experience my first NHL game while in Nashville, as Aunt Kelly, Nate, and I all went to the Nashville Predators/Colorado Avalanche game on New Year's Day and what a great time I had. Also got a taste of how a downtown sports arena could do for nightlife (may give my five cents to Sacramento FIRST, a group that is working with our mayor on putting together a new sports and entertainment center for Sacramento). Not just that, but also seeing the Civil War battle sites, the Jack Daniels Distillery (was particularly exciting since I had just turned 21 that August), the Opryland Hotel were all highlights. Then my sister's graduation from high school, performing well in school, and enhancing direction of the choir at church and music were all further highlights of 2002.

In 2003, I finally transferred to Sac State to finish my degree in humanities (which I did in 2005, then asked "where do I go now?"). I also got my first REAL job when I started working for Raley's in June of 2003, following my dad's footsteps and also becoming closer with my dad through working there and alongside many of his former coworkers. 2003 was very uneventful, although 2004 and 2005 became years of change, but also two of the best years I've ever had this decade, where I also met the people who are among my best friends. In January, I left my music director position at church and went to Calvary Lutheran Church in Rio Linda, upsetting many by getting involved after I said I needed a break from music and the church. However, while there, I grew as a musician, grew to appreciate the Lutheran liturgical service, made many new friends, and experienced a renewed faith. It was also in February that I got the news that my dad was being transferred to another store, and that I was too, as he was being transferred back to Raley's in North Highlands where I was at from Citrus Heights, and that I would be going to Citrus Heights. However, that was the best change to happen to me, as I finally got my driver's license, a car, met who is now my best friend, and just enjoyed life. I also lost considerable weight, which continued into 2005.

In 2005, I was in my final semester at Sac State and took a couple classes that were highly influential (thanks Alyson!), and also got a new position in the general merchandise department at the brand new Raley's in Lincoln, which was a great learning experience, but also taught me about the nasty politics in management. I don't want to dwell on that experience, but I have never seen a more dysfunctional management team than the GM department there and being the only guy in the department did not help. I almost lost my job at one point, as I got in a nasty battle with one of my managers that ended up spilling over with the other managers who then went against me. I hated having to go to the director (who is coincidentally my dad's store director now), but it was the best thing I did. I was able to get a transfer to the store on Watt/Marconi and put that experience in Lincoln behind me, while also making some new and close friends while at Watt/Marconi. Also in 2005, I was offered the music director position at the United Methodist Church in Rio Linda again and accepted, thus leaving Calvary Lutheran Church and just in time, as a nasty situation with the pastor and people painfully erupted later that month. However, my heart was not in it, as I had been hurt several times and questioned my musicianship. I was also becoming a different person, as I was living the teenage years I felt like I never had, hanging out with friends, partying, accepting myself for who I am, and trying to find where I want to go in life. I also went on an exciting trip to Disneyland with Alison and another friend and her daughter, making the decision to take time off school and enjoying life easier. 2006 began uneventfully by hanging out with Alison and her boyfriend, something I did on a regular basis. Musicwise, I just wasn't into it and in August, I walked away from music and the church, but came back in March 2007 after some kind of revelation or series of revelations.

Even though I began grad school in 2007 and had a great first semester, I began feeling some rumblings inside of me that made me re-think my purpose in life. I was fully enjoying directing the music at church and was determined to get my master's done, but I just didn't feel I was doing enough. Also in 2008, I moved out of my parents' house and into a house with Alison and Vince, marking a year of sweeping changes. I also accepted a new position as scanning clerk at the Raley's in North Highlands, returning to where I started, which was not the smartest decision, as I liked being a clerk better. I stepped down from scanning two months in, pissing off my store director at the time, but also realizing where my strengths and weaknesses lie. I also experienced the best family vacation in a long time in Chicago with my parents and cousins, before heading North to Wisconsin for the Lindbaum family reunion (my mom's mother's side). It was a vacation I'll never forget. That was also the point I walked away from the master's program and charted the course I'm on now.

There is so much more to this decade than I can ever fit into this single blog post, as there is so much that has happened, but I do enjoy reflecting on my own experiences and the events that have shaped me into who I am today. I honestly could not be where I am today without my family, who has stood by me even amidst the bad decisions that I make and mistakes that I make. Never take your family for granted!! I also can't say enough about my roommates, Alison and Vince, who put up with my all my quirks, but also stand by me all the time through thick and thin. Also my friends, both young and old mean a lot to me. You all teach me something, such my older friends Steve F., Dianne, Steve B., Theresa, Keela, Charles, Sonya, Terri, and all of those at church, as you all show me that you're never too old to have fun. I also owe a lot to my younger friends, Dennis, Alex, Emma, Kimberly, and Jacob, as you have helped me realize I'm still young and bring out my youthful energy that I didn't know I had. I also owe a lot to my teachers over the years at ARC, CSUS, and SCC, particularly Bob, Brian, Sydney, Keith, Josh, Alyson, Dr. Brodd, Dr. Donath, Rob, and Doreen. I have learned not so much academically, but also lessons in life. I look forward to this new year with a renewed sense of hope and energy, but also this decade as well. I hope everyone else does as well, as I wish each and every one of you a happy new year!!